Psychological Well Being Of Single Parents
Understanding the Psychological Well Being of Single Parents
Probably the hardest thing to face as a single parent is the intense emotion linked with being both a mother and a father to a child. This is further magnified when the other parent is absent or is deliberately not doing anything to fulfill his part in the caring for the children. More often than not, the single parent's psychological well being bogs down.
Single parents might try to cope with this strain by either trying to compensate by adopting both mom and dad roles, or by scouring the social scene for a partner to help him or her in the rearing of the child. The pressure is definitely high.
However, if truth be told, none of the two methods will help. If anything, they might even cause you to become more psychologically stressed.
Majority of single parents feel guilty for the absence of the other parent, often blaming themselves for the loss. This is especially complicated if the custodial parent is male and he has a daughter or three daughters, making it difficult for him to portray motherly duties.
Chances are, he will go on wild hunting trip to look for somebody to fill the position, which, more often than not, particularly for those who go out to just look for a replacement parent, ends up in vain.
To cope with the other parent's absence, you must first acknowledge and admit that nobody will ever replace your child's mom or dad. Sure, somebody nice and appropriate could come along, but if you make this search your daily goal, then you might as well be driving you and children to loony house.
While finding someone to fill the spot addresses a big need, this should not be your sole purpose in life. Always remember that your children need YOU to care for them, and do not just see you as a nanny or private eye tasked to find them a good parent.
Instead, focus on what you can give your kids, even without a partner. Being a single parent is not a sin. Nor is it a reason for you to go on guilt trips every single day. You should even be proud that you have successfully reared your kid or kids on your own, and prouder that they have you. Whether or not you find a new spouse or partner, your children will still be happy to have you with them.
Always keep in mind that you are only human and cannot do everything at once. Not always being a hero to your kids does not make you less of a person. Remember, what does not kill you will only make you stronger.
Capitalize on the relationship you currently have with your kids and improve on that, instead of just dwelling on the fact that you're alone and don't have a partner.
Kids today are more resilient and understanding than we give them credit for, so never underestimate their power to understand your limitations. Be honest about your feelings and they will be honest with theirs, as well. You could be pleasantly surprised with their responses.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Effects Of Single Parenting On Child
Effects of Single Parenting On A Child
Times have really changed. Old people always argue that the modern culture has forsaken and outgrouwn the values taught and instilled by old customs, beliefs and traditions.
Moralists and conservative people are almost always raising their brows and expressing disgust over how current belief and culture systems are evolving. What has been unacceptable in the old world is now becoming fast and rapidly rising trends.
Taboos and outcast-driving issues of yester years are now very common have set minds of people that they actually are just normal and acceptable.
Single parenting
One of the issues that were raising the ire of people decades and even centuries back is the issue of single parenting. A quick look at social philosophies link single parenting to adventurism and liberation of people.
The Catholic Church has always been the dominating mentor and guide of traditions, norms and living. The church is so adamant to advocate the sanctity of the sacrament of marriage of matrimony.
That is why the procreation outside wedlock is strictly considered a ground for excommunication. It is one of the greatest sins, according to the Catholic Church, to engage in pre-marital sex.
Single parenthood, in that sense, can be taken in as a punishment of some sorts, to the people who disobey the teachings of the church. But radical thinkers think otherwise. So, is it?
Single parenting is becoming a rapidly rising trend in the society. Studies in the US alone indicate that there are four single parents to every ten parents, there are two single parents for every 10 adults in the country.
Your great grandparents must be really turning up their graves of they could be able to hear such statistics. How times have changed!
The Child
Because single parenting or parenthood is somehow a choice and decision, taken by the parent, one voice is still unheard of. It is that of the child’s.
Psychologists and advocates argue and insist that single parenting has adverse mental, emotional and psychological effect to the child. Tests from time to time validate that premise.
Several studies have found that the child’s thinking and mental mind set is somehow altered or affected if that child was raised by a single parent.
Although single parents must be commended for raising a child alone, he or she should not be blamed for any mental or psychological result of the situation to the child, as psychological assert.
Tests and observations have consistently concluded and found that single parenting makes children more aggressive and rebellious. Experts say the behavior could be the outcome of the angst and humiliation the child experiences while growing.
Because traditional and normal families have two parents, the mom and the dad, jointly raising kids, single parenting somehow makes the child feel abnormal, different and unaccepted.
The society can sometimes be too cruel for such children, which can make things worse. Humiliation and awkward feeling of insecurity is dangerous if left untreated or undetected in the child. That child can take the burden for the rest of his or her life.
Thus, single parents and their children both need professional help through counseling. Reasonable advise and guides should be given both to the child and the single parent to make sure both of them deal with past, present and future issues from single parenting.
Counseling from professionals can form or make up a support system that will make single parenting easier and more effective. Because single parenting is no ordinary parenting, the parent and the child must learn to accept the situation minus the negative feeling.
Nowadays, single parenting is becoming a normal occurrence. Society is not that judgmental anymore towards the single parent and the child. Probably, it can be because of the immunity due to the rising number of single parents. Anyway, it can be positive because at least, single parents choose to be productive.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Emotional Health Of Single Parents
Emotional Health Of Single Parents
Single Parents and How They Are to Maintain Their Emotional Health
The number of single parents has increased over years. The number of children who have been a product of single parents have continually grown as well. This is because the overall change in society has changed drastically over the past years.
How a person reacts to certain situations, and how one copes with change have affected decisions involving families today. Studies have shown that there are effects, whether positive or negative on being a single parent to children.
Stress and single parenting are the usual topics in self-help books in parenting. Psychologists believe that raising children and even just a child is a very stressful task that requires ample management of emotional, behavioral and spiritual aspect of a single parent. Without the proper guide from self-help books, counsellors, group therapy, a single parent will deteriorate emotionally due to stress.
So how could you manage stress and single parenting? Psychologists say that in order for a parent to manage both stress and single parenting, he or she should enumerate things that brings him or her the stressors.
The universal stressors in single parenting for a female parent is how she could manage her household while she works her way to earn a living for 8 to 9 hours during the day. Self-help books on how to manage stress and single parenting gives single moms a good advice.
Firstly, if their job requires them to be out of the house in the usual office hours, she could hire a nanny during those times that she is away. But if she wants to have a quality time with her child or children, it would be for the best if she would leave her day job and establish a work from home business or job.
The internet isn't there to merely entertain us. In fact, billions of dollars worth of business deals have been transacted through the internet. Of course, this isn't just on sales transactions -- sales on goods sold such as in Amazon or Ebay -- but also those transactions that pay off a service using Paypal or other online payment mode.
Yes, believe it or don't, many people, single parent or not, who earn a living through the internet not for selling goods but for offering and selling a service.
Some employers, especially those who are always on the go, hire 'virtual assistant' to help them with clerical or typing or secretarial jobs. Employers simply email the typing or research job to their virtual assistant with the instructions on how to do it and when to submit it, and the virtual assistant shall submit to the employer the typing and research job at the time the employer has specified.
This way you can manage both stress and single parenting. Even if your two children are howling at each other, you can pacify them while you are waiting for the next job that your virtual boss will give you. Working online or telecommuting is one of the best ways that you can manage stress and single parenting.
As for single dads, the problem that they usually face is how to keep in-tune with his child or children's feelings and emotional needs. This is the most usual cause of stress with a male doing the single parenting.
Of course, unlike a single mom, not all single dads want to work at home. They feel that this is not a very manly job. To psychologists, however, single dads doesn't have that much liberty to think this way.
Single parenting is totally different to regular parenting (a household with a mother and a father). A single parent must adjust to the usual activities expected of a 'regular' parent. So, a single dad must accept the fact that he can't be just like 'any other dad' and work his bottom from sunrise till night.
A single dad needs to be at the side of his children, like a mother. If he can't accept this fact, he cannot possibly manage stress and single parenting.
Single Parents and How They Are to Maintain Their Emotional Health
The number of single parents has increased over years. The number of children who have been a product of single parents have continually grown as well. This is because the overall change in society has changed drastically over the past years.
How a person reacts to certain situations, and how one copes with change have affected decisions involving families today. Studies have shown that there are effects, whether positive or negative on being a single parent to children.
Stress and single parenting are the usual topics in self-help books in parenting. Psychologists believe that raising children and even just a child is a very stressful task that requires ample management of emotional, behavioral and spiritual aspect of a single parent. Without the proper guide from self-help books, counsellors, group therapy, a single parent will deteriorate emotionally due to stress.
So how could you manage stress and single parenting? Psychologists say that in order for a parent to manage both stress and single parenting, he or she should enumerate things that brings him or her the stressors.
The universal stressors in single parenting for a female parent is how she could manage her household while she works her way to earn a living for 8 to 9 hours during the day. Self-help books on how to manage stress and single parenting gives single moms a good advice.
Firstly, if their job requires them to be out of the house in the usual office hours, she could hire a nanny during those times that she is away. But if she wants to have a quality time with her child or children, it would be for the best if she would leave her day job and establish a work from home business or job.
The internet isn't there to merely entertain us. In fact, billions of dollars worth of business deals have been transacted through the internet. Of course, this isn't just on sales transactions -- sales on goods sold such as in Amazon or Ebay -- but also those transactions that pay off a service using Paypal or other online payment mode.
Yes, believe it or don't, many people, single parent or not, who earn a living through the internet not for selling goods but for offering and selling a service.
Some employers, especially those who are always on the go, hire 'virtual assistant' to help them with clerical or typing or secretarial jobs. Employers simply email the typing or research job to their virtual assistant with the instructions on how to do it and when to submit it, and the virtual assistant shall submit to the employer the typing and research job at the time the employer has specified.
This way you can manage both stress and single parenting. Even if your two children are howling at each other, you can pacify them while you are waiting for the next job that your virtual boss will give you. Working online or telecommuting is one of the best ways that you can manage stress and single parenting.
As for single dads, the problem that they usually face is how to keep in-tune with his child or children's feelings and emotional needs. This is the most usual cause of stress with a male doing the single parenting.
Of course, unlike a single mom, not all single dads want to work at home. They feel that this is not a very manly job. To psychologists, however, single dads doesn't have that much liberty to think this way.
Single parenting is totally different to regular parenting (a household with a mother and a father). A single parent must adjust to the usual activities expected of a 'regular' parent. So, a single dad must accept the fact that he can't be just like 'any other dad' and work his bottom from sunrise till night.
A single dad needs to be at the side of his children, like a mother. If he can't accept this fact, he cannot possibly manage stress and single parenting.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Consequences of Single Parenting
Consequences of Single Parenting
There are a lot of consequences in being a single parent. It is not as easy as everyone imagines. There are so many issues surrounding a single parent. Some are good, but some are extremely bad. In everything that you do, there are consequences. And because being a single parent is an abnormality, society keeps a watchful eye on everything that you do.
You always have to watch your actions so that it will not have a deterrent effect on your children. You also have to have an open communication with your children so that you will always have knowledge on what is roaming inside their mind.
Since being a single parent is vulnerable to gossips, we must always be knowledgeable of what is happening around us so that it would not affect our children. The biggest consequence of being a single parent is probably its effect on the child’s reputation and emotions.
In a weak foundation, the child with a single parent might notice his or her difference with other kids. If not properly talked about, he or she might start thinking that he or she is different and it may be a reason for him or her to be disturbed. As a parent, you must always remind your child that he or she is not different from others. He or she is still a normal kid, just like everybody else.
The bulk of the responsibility is thrown mostly to the parent. And honestly, it is really the parent’s responsibility especially during the early ages of your son and daughter. You should always remind your child about his or her status and that it should not affect him or her as a person.
As a parent, you must really be hands-on with how you take care of your children. It is a must that your presence is always felt. That you are always there to guide your kid. It is important and a must that you efficiently perform your duties and responsibilities as a parent.
Single parents must be really close to his or her child. If you concentrate more on work and leave no time for your kids, there might be a gap on your relationship and you and your kid will not be that close.
You should also show your love to your kids for they lack affection. Since you are a single parent, you should give much more love as you are filling in the shoes of both a mom and a dad.
But that is not as easy as it sounds, because you are the only one that makes it work for you and your family. Of course, you cannot do it all by yourself. Single parents are not super heroes but they are close to it.
Time is the biggest enemy of a single parent. And because of that, the biggest consequence of it is having no time to spend with your kids. As a result, you may not be close to him. Another one is because of the lack of a parent figure inside the house when you are not around, the kids might lack the value that parents teach.
Also, because of your absence, the children might not respect your authority as their parent. And at times, because of work, you might be not around during special occasions, like the kid’s birthday, PTA meetings, the child’s recital and other kid of events that require the presence of a parent. Since you are the only working with no support, you might not be able to attend to these and may cause trouble.
A kid requires a lot of work, and if you cannot attend to your child’s needs then he or she might look out for someone else. Your child might be prone to drugs and other bad deeds because of the lack of presence and attention inside the house. The child might even forget that he or she still has a parent.
You must remember it is not how long you spend your time with your kids; it is how you spend quality time with your kids. Even if you are tired from work, you must always let them feel your love. You may not always be physically present but what is important is that we instill in the values and discipline so that they would be able to face the world with the parent on the child’s mind.
The most important thing is that they would understand the situation and respect you for what you are and not who you are not.
There are a lot of consequences in being a single parent. It is not as easy as everyone imagines. There are so many issues surrounding a single parent. Some are good, but some are extremely bad. In everything that you do, there are consequences. And because being a single parent is an abnormality, society keeps a watchful eye on everything that you do.
You always have to watch your actions so that it will not have a deterrent effect on your children. You also have to have an open communication with your children so that you will always have knowledge on what is roaming inside their mind.
Since being a single parent is vulnerable to gossips, we must always be knowledgeable of what is happening around us so that it would not affect our children. The biggest consequence of being a single parent is probably its effect on the child’s reputation and emotions.
In a weak foundation, the child with a single parent might notice his or her difference with other kids. If not properly talked about, he or she might start thinking that he or she is different and it may be a reason for him or her to be disturbed. As a parent, you must always remind your child that he or she is not different from others. He or she is still a normal kid, just like everybody else.
The bulk of the responsibility is thrown mostly to the parent. And honestly, it is really the parent’s responsibility especially during the early ages of your son and daughter. You should always remind your child about his or her status and that it should not affect him or her as a person.
As a parent, you must really be hands-on with how you take care of your children. It is a must that your presence is always felt. That you are always there to guide your kid. It is important and a must that you efficiently perform your duties and responsibilities as a parent.
Single parents must be really close to his or her child. If you concentrate more on work and leave no time for your kids, there might be a gap on your relationship and you and your kid will not be that close.
You should also show your love to your kids for they lack affection. Since you are a single parent, you should give much more love as you are filling in the shoes of both a mom and a dad.
But that is not as easy as it sounds, because you are the only one that makes it work for you and your family. Of course, you cannot do it all by yourself. Single parents are not super heroes but they are close to it.
Time is the biggest enemy of a single parent. And because of that, the biggest consequence of it is having no time to spend with your kids. As a result, you may not be close to him. Another one is because of the lack of a parent figure inside the house when you are not around, the kids might lack the value that parents teach.
Also, because of your absence, the children might not respect your authority as their parent. And at times, because of work, you might be not around during special occasions, like the kid’s birthday, PTA meetings, the child’s recital and other kid of events that require the presence of a parent. Since you are the only working with no support, you might not be able to attend to these and may cause trouble.
A kid requires a lot of work, and if you cannot attend to your child’s needs then he or she might look out for someone else. Your child might be prone to drugs and other bad deeds because of the lack of presence and attention inside the house. The child might even forget that he or she still has a parent.
You must remember it is not how long you spend your time with your kids; it is how you spend quality time with your kids. Even if you are tired from work, you must always let them feel your love. You may not always be physically present but what is important is that we instill in the values and discipline so that they would be able to face the world with the parent on the child’s mind.
The most important thing is that they would understand the situation and respect you for what you are and not who you are not.
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