Theories Regarding Single Parenting
Theories regarding single parenting depends upon the the beliefs and ideals of a person. Some people base their concept or theories on experiences of single parents. Some of them base it on analytical thinking.
There are theories regarding single parenting that is said to be irritating to the ears of single parent especially if it affects the morality of a person as a Christian. Nevertheless, if we will listen to the person sharing his theories regarding single parenting, you can pick up a little knowledge that you can share to others.
There are theories regarding single parenting that sometimes caused a debate like theories regarding single parents punishing their children every time they did something wrong. Others agree on this concept while others do not.
For those who agree that this theory regarding single parenting is right, say that to be able to create fine men and women, punishment is needed. It lessens their mistakes in life. If not punished, they will do the same mistakes their single parents have done. On the contrary, people who disagreed in this theory regarding single parenting, they believe that punishment will only make children become fearful, non-cooperative, and dependent to others.
Theories regarding single parenting may vary according to the beliefs, customs and tradition revolving around the community. Unknowingly, people produced theories according to their experience and pass it out to next generations.
Handling your children should not base on any concept or theories regarding single parenting. Nurturing, caring, loving is enough for a child to understand what you feel for him.
Don't let any theories regarding single parenting manipulate your lives. Better make it a guide but not necessarily follow all those concepts. Learn to pick only the beneficial ones. Learn from the lessons of the theories regarding single parenting.
Theories regarding single parenting sprouted like a mushroom through the years because of the great need of single parents to mold their children with good attitude.
There are theories regarding single parenting that deals on educating single parents to teach their children on how to strengthen the faith to God. It is very important to strengthen the faith of every child especially children of single parents because it can be their weapon in every struggles in life.
Theories regarding single parenting that are the topics of debates must be analyzed with balanced judgment. Single parents must have a wide knowledge to be able to sort capture only all the good lessons from bad.
Theories of single parenting existed many years ago. Even in history books, we read about it. The topic of before still remains the topic of today.
Theories on single parenting differ according to the needs of single parent. Single parenting which has resulted from divorce must understand theories on single parenting that are appropriate for them. They should learn how to cope on their situation. They must also learn to avoid bad comments pertaining to the other parent of the child.
Single parents should learn to settle amicably the differences between the other parents of the child. Single parents must also learn the right time of dating again on opposite gender. Theories regarding single parenting might help them.
Theories regarding single parenting on rebellious stage of children should be deal with maturely. Children who are product of a divorce or separation usually becomes rebellious especially on adolescence age.
Rebellious child are sensitive in nature. Single parents must understand their needs. Rebellious child might need more attention and care. They sometimes need something but got difficulty achieving it.
Theories on single parenting have the purpose of educating parents to become a role model to their children. Single parents made a mistake in the past but it does not mean they are bad parents. Becoming a role model to children will inspired children to finish their study become professional on their chosen career in the someday.
Single parents should be careful on theories regarding single parenting that they will use on their child for on these theories regarding single parenting depend the future of their children. Single parents should never stop on learning for the sake of their child. Single parents should give extra nurturing and caring to their children for children of single parents have the special needs of love and care.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Psychological Well Being Of Single Parents
Psychological Well Being Of Single Parents
Understanding the Psychological Well Being of Single Parents
Probably the hardest thing to face as a single parent is the intense emotion linked with being both a mother and a father to a child. This is further magnified when the other parent is absent or is deliberately not doing anything to fulfill his part in the caring for the children. More often than not, the single parent's psychological well being bogs down.
Single parents might try to cope with this strain by either trying to compensate by adopting both mom and dad roles, or by scouring the social scene for a partner to help him or her in the rearing of the child. The pressure is definitely high.
However, if truth be told, none of the two methods will help. If anything, they might even cause you to become more psychologically stressed.
Majority of single parents feel guilty for the absence of the other parent, often blaming themselves for the loss. This is especially complicated if the custodial parent is male and he has a daughter or three daughters, making it difficult for him to portray motherly duties.
Chances are, he will go on wild hunting trip to look for somebody to fill the position, which, more often than not, particularly for those who go out to just look for a replacement parent, ends up in vain.
To cope with the other parent's absence, you must first acknowledge and admit that nobody will ever replace your child's mom or dad. Sure, somebody nice and appropriate could come along, but if you make this search your daily goal, then you might as well be driving you and children to loony house.
While finding someone to fill the spot addresses a big need, this should not be your sole purpose in life. Always remember that your children need YOU to care for them, and do not just see you as a nanny or private eye tasked to find them a good parent.
Instead, focus on what you can give your kids, even without a partner. Being a single parent is not a sin. Nor is it a reason for you to go on guilt trips every single day. You should even be proud that you have successfully reared your kid or kids on your own, and prouder that they have you. Whether or not you find a new spouse or partner, your children will still be happy to have you with them.
Always keep in mind that you are only human and cannot do everything at once. Not always being a hero to your kids does not make you less of a person. Remember, what does not kill you will only make you stronger.
Capitalize on the relationship you currently have with your kids and improve on that, instead of just dwelling on the fact that you're alone and don't have a partner.
Kids today are more resilient and understanding than we give them credit for, so never underestimate their power to understand your limitations. Be honest about your feelings and they will be honest with theirs, as well. You could be pleasantly surprised with their responses.
Understanding the Psychological Well Being of Single Parents
Probably the hardest thing to face as a single parent is the intense emotion linked with being both a mother and a father to a child. This is further magnified when the other parent is absent or is deliberately not doing anything to fulfill his part in the caring for the children. More often than not, the single parent's psychological well being bogs down.
Single parents might try to cope with this strain by either trying to compensate by adopting both mom and dad roles, or by scouring the social scene for a partner to help him or her in the rearing of the child. The pressure is definitely high.
However, if truth be told, none of the two methods will help. If anything, they might even cause you to become more psychologically stressed.
Majority of single parents feel guilty for the absence of the other parent, often blaming themselves for the loss. This is especially complicated if the custodial parent is male and he has a daughter or three daughters, making it difficult for him to portray motherly duties.
Chances are, he will go on wild hunting trip to look for somebody to fill the position, which, more often than not, particularly for those who go out to just look for a replacement parent, ends up in vain.
To cope with the other parent's absence, you must first acknowledge and admit that nobody will ever replace your child's mom or dad. Sure, somebody nice and appropriate could come along, but if you make this search your daily goal, then you might as well be driving you and children to loony house.
While finding someone to fill the spot addresses a big need, this should not be your sole purpose in life. Always remember that your children need YOU to care for them, and do not just see you as a nanny or private eye tasked to find them a good parent.
Instead, focus on what you can give your kids, even without a partner. Being a single parent is not a sin. Nor is it a reason for you to go on guilt trips every single day. You should even be proud that you have successfully reared your kid or kids on your own, and prouder that they have you. Whether or not you find a new spouse or partner, your children will still be happy to have you with them.
Always keep in mind that you are only human and cannot do everything at once. Not always being a hero to your kids does not make you less of a person. Remember, what does not kill you will only make you stronger.
Capitalize on the relationship you currently have with your kids and improve on that, instead of just dwelling on the fact that you're alone and don't have a partner.
Kids today are more resilient and understanding than we give them credit for, so never underestimate their power to understand your limitations. Be honest about your feelings and they will be honest with theirs, as well. You could be pleasantly surprised with their responses.
Effects Of Single Parenting On Child
Effects of Single Parenting On A Child
Times have really changed. Old people always argue that the modern culture has forsaken and outgrouwn the values taught and instilled by old customs, beliefs and traditions.
Moralists and conservative people are almost always raising their brows and expressing disgust over how current belief and culture systems are evolving. What has been unacceptable in the old world is now becoming fast and rapidly rising trends.
Taboos and outcast-driving issues of yester years are now very common have set minds of people that they actually are just normal and acceptable.
Single parenting
One of the issues that were raising the ire of people decades and even centuries back is the issue of single parenting. A quick look at social philosophies link single parenting to adventurism and liberation of people.
The Catholic Church has always been the dominating mentor and guide of traditions, norms and living. The church is so adamant to advocate the sanctity of the sacrament of marriage of matrimony.
That is why the procreation outside wedlock is strictly considered a ground for excommunication. It is one of the greatest sins, according to the Catholic Church, to engage in pre-marital sex.
Single parenthood, in that sense, can be taken in as a punishment of some sorts, to the people who disobey the teachings of the church. But radical thinkers think otherwise. So, is it?
Single parenting is becoming a rapidly rising trend in the society. Studies in the US alone indicate that there are four single parents to every ten parents, there are two single parents for every 10 adults in the country.
Your great grandparents must be really turning up their graves of they could be able to hear such statistics. How times have changed!
The Child
Because single parenting or parenthood is somehow a choice and decision, taken by the parent, one voice is still unheard of. It is that of the child’s.
Psychologists and advocates argue and insist that single parenting has adverse mental, emotional and psychological effect to the child. Tests from time to time validate that premise.
Several studies have found that the child’s thinking and mental mind set is somehow altered or affected if that child was raised by a single parent.
Although single parents must be commended for raising a child alone, he or she should not be blamed for any mental or psychological result of the situation to the child, as psychological assert.
Tests and observations have consistently concluded and found that single parenting makes children more aggressive and rebellious. Experts say the behavior could be the outcome of the angst and humiliation the child experiences while growing.
Because traditional and normal families have two parents, the mom and the dad, jointly raising kids, single parenting somehow makes the child feel abnormal, different and unaccepted.
The society can sometimes be too cruel for such children, which can make things worse. Humiliation and awkward feeling of insecurity is dangerous if left untreated or undetected in the child. That child can take the burden for the rest of his or her life.
Thus, single parents and their children both need professional help through counseling. Reasonable advise and guides should be given both to the child and the single parent to make sure both of them deal with past, present and future issues from single parenting.
Counseling from professionals can form or make up a support system that will make single parenting easier and more effective. Because single parenting is no ordinary parenting, the parent and the child must learn to accept the situation minus the negative feeling.
Nowadays, single parenting is becoming a normal occurrence. Society is not that judgmental anymore towards the single parent and the child. Probably, it can be because of the immunity due to the rising number of single parents. Anyway, it can be positive because at least, single parents choose to be productive.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Emotional Health Of Single Parents
Emotional Health Of Single Parents
Single Parents and How They Are to Maintain Their Emotional Health
The number of single parents has increased over years. The number of children who have been a product of single parents have continually grown as well. This is because the overall change in society has changed drastically over the past years.
How a person reacts to certain situations, and how one copes with change have affected decisions involving families today. Studies have shown that there are effects, whether positive or negative on being a single parent to children.
Stress and single parenting are the usual topics in self-help books in parenting. Psychologists believe that raising children and even just a child is a very stressful task that requires ample management of emotional, behavioral and spiritual aspect of a single parent. Without the proper guide from self-help books, counsellors, group therapy, a single parent will deteriorate emotionally due to stress.
So how could you manage stress and single parenting? Psychologists say that in order for a parent to manage both stress and single parenting, he or she should enumerate things that brings him or her the stressors.
The universal stressors in single parenting for a female parent is how she could manage her household while she works her way to earn a living for 8 to 9 hours during the day. Self-help books on how to manage stress and single parenting gives single moms a good advice.
Firstly, if their job requires them to be out of the house in the usual office hours, she could hire a nanny during those times that she is away. But if she wants to have a quality time with her child or children, it would be for the best if she would leave her day job and establish a work from home business or job.
The internet isn't there to merely entertain us. In fact, billions of dollars worth of business deals have been transacted through the internet. Of course, this isn't just on sales transactions -- sales on goods sold such as in Amazon or Ebay -- but also those transactions that pay off a service using Paypal or other online payment mode.
Yes, believe it or don't, many people, single parent or not, who earn a living through the internet not for selling goods but for offering and selling a service.
Some employers, especially those who are always on the go, hire 'virtual assistant' to help them with clerical or typing or secretarial jobs. Employers simply email the typing or research job to their virtual assistant with the instructions on how to do it and when to submit it, and the virtual assistant shall submit to the employer the typing and research job at the time the employer has specified.
This way you can manage both stress and single parenting. Even if your two children are howling at each other, you can pacify them while you are waiting for the next job that your virtual boss will give you. Working online or telecommuting is one of the best ways that you can manage stress and single parenting.
As for single dads, the problem that they usually face is how to keep in-tune with his child or children's feelings and emotional needs. This is the most usual cause of stress with a male doing the single parenting.
Of course, unlike a single mom, not all single dads want to work at home. They feel that this is not a very manly job. To psychologists, however, single dads doesn't have that much liberty to think this way.
Single parenting is totally different to regular parenting (a household with a mother and a father). A single parent must adjust to the usual activities expected of a 'regular' parent. So, a single dad must accept the fact that he can't be just like 'any other dad' and work his bottom from sunrise till night.
A single dad needs to be at the side of his children, like a mother. If he can't accept this fact, he cannot possibly manage stress and single parenting.
Single Parents and How They Are to Maintain Their Emotional Health
The number of single parents has increased over years. The number of children who have been a product of single parents have continually grown as well. This is because the overall change in society has changed drastically over the past years.
How a person reacts to certain situations, and how one copes with change have affected decisions involving families today. Studies have shown that there are effects, whether positive or negative on being a single parent to children.
Stress and single parenting are the usual topics in self-help books in parenting. Psychologists believe that raising children and even just a child is a very stressful task that requires ample management of emotional, behavioral and spiritual aspect of a single parent. Without the proper guide from self-help books, counsellors, group therapy, a single parent will deteriorate emotionally due to stress.
So how could you manage stress and single parenting? Psychologists say that in order for a parent to manage both stress and single parenting, he or she should enumerate things that brings him or her the stressors.
The universal stressors in single parenting for a female parent is how she could manage her household while she works her way to earn a living for 8 to 9 hours during the day. Self-help books on how to manage stress and single parenting gives single moms a good advice.
Firstly, if their job requires them to be out of the house in the usual office hours, she could hire a nanny during those times that she is away. But if she wants to have a quality time with her child or children, it would be for the best if she would leave her day job and establish a work from home business or job.
The internet isn't there to merely entertain us. In fact, billions of dollars worth of business deals have been transacted through the internet. Of course, this isn't just on sales transactions -- sales on goods sold such as in Amazon or Ebay -- but also those transactions that pay off a service using Paypal or other online payment mode.
Yes, believe it or don't, many people, single parent or not, who earn a living through the internet not for selling goods but for offering and selling a service.
Some employers, especially those who are always on the go, hire 'virtual assistant' to help them with clerical or typing or secretarial jobs. Employers simply email the typing or research job to their virtual assistant with the instructions on how to do it and when to submit it, and the virtual assistant shall submit to the employer the typing and research job at the time the employer has specified.
This way you can manage both stress and single parenting. Even if your two children are howling at each other, you can pacify them while you are waiting for the next job that your virtual boss will give you. Working online or telecommuting is one of the best ways that you can manage stress and single parenting.
As for single dads, the problem that they usually face is how to keep in-tune with his child or children's feelings and emotional needs. This is the most usual cause of stress with a male doing the single parenting.
Of course, unlike a single mom, not all single dads want to work at home. They feel that this is not a very manly job. To psychologists, however, single dads doesn't have that much liberty to think this way.
Single parenting is totally different to regular parenting (a household with a mother and a father). A single parent must adjust to the usual activities expected of a 'regular' parent. So, a single dad must accept the fact that he can't be just like 'any other dad' and work his bottom from sunrise till night.
A single dad needs to be at the side of his children, like a mother. If he can't accept this fact, he cannot possibly manage stress and single parenting.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Consequences of Single Parenting
Consequences of Single Parenting
There are a lot of consequences in being a single parent. It is not as easy as everyone imagines. There are so many issues surrounding a single parent. Some are good, but some are extremely bad. In everything that you do, there are consequences. And because being a single parent is an abnormality, society keeps a watchful eye on everything that you do.
You always have to watch your actions so that it will not have a deterrent effect on your children. You also have to have an open communication with your children so that you will always have knowledge on what is roaming inside their mind.
Since being a single parent is vulnerable to gossips, we must always be knowledgeable of what is happening around us so that it would not affect our children. The biggest consequence of being a single parent is probably its effect on the child’s reputation and emotions.
In a weak foundation, the child with a single parent might notice his or her difference with other kids. If not properly talked about, he or she might start thinking that he or she is different and it may be a reason for him or her to be disturbed. As a parent, you must always remind your child that he or she is not different from others. He or she is still a normal kid, just like everybody else.
The bulk of the responsibility is thrown mostly to the parent. And honestly, it is really the parent’s responsibility especially during the early ages of your son and daughter. You should always remind your child about his or her status and that it should not affect him or her as a person.
As a parent, you must really be hands-on with how you take care of your children. It is a must that your presence is always felt. That you are always there to guide your kid. It is important and a must that you efficiently perform your duties and responsibilities as a parent.
Single parents must be really close to his or her child. If you concentrate more on work and leave no time for your kids, there might be a gap on your relationship and you and your kid will not be that close.
You should also show your love to your kids for they lack affection. Since you are a single parent, you should give much more love as you are filling in the shoes of both a mom and a dad.
But that is not as easy as it sounds, because you are the only one that makes it work for you and your family. Of course, you cannot do it all by yourself. Single parents are not super heroes but they are close to it.
Time is the biggest enemy of a single parent. And because of that, the biggest consequence of it is having no time to spend with your kids. As a result, you may not be close to him. Another one is because of the lack of a parent figure inside the house when you are not around, the kids might lack the value that parents teach.
Also, because of your absence, the children might not respect your authority as their parent. And at times, because of work, you might be not around during special occasions, like the kid’s birthday, PTA meetings, the child’s recital and other kid of events that require the presence of a parent. Since you are the only working with no support, you might not be able to attend to these and may cause trouble.
A kid requires a lot of work, and if you cannot attend to your child’s needs then he or she might look out for someone else. Your child might be prone to drugs and other bad deeds because of the lack of presence and attention inside the house. The child might even forget that he or she still has a parent.
You must remember it is not how long you spend your time with your kids; it is how you spend quality time with your kids. Even if you are tired from work, you must always let them feel your love. You may not always be physically present but what is important is that we instill in the values and discipline so that they would be able to face the world with the parent on the child’s mind.
The most important thing is that they would understand the situation and respect you for what you are and not who you are not.
There are a lot of consequences in being a single parent. It is not as easy as everyone imagines. There are so many issues surrounding a single parent. Some are good, but some are extremely bad. In everything that you do, there are consequences. And because being a single parent is an abnormality, society keeps a watchful eye on everything that you do.
You always have to watch your actions so that it will not have a deterrent effect on your children. You also have to have an open communication with your children so that you will always have knowledge on what is roaming inside their mind.
Since being a single parent is vulnerable to gossips, we must always be knowledgeable of what is happening around us so that it would not affect our children. The biggest consequence of being a single parent is probably its effect on the child’s reputation and emotions.
In a weak foundation, the child with a single parent might notice his or her difference with other kids. If not properly talked about, he or she might start thinking that he or she is different and it may be a reason for him or her to be disturbed. As a parent, you must always remind your child that he or she is not different from others. He or she is still a normal kid, just like everybody else.
The bulk of the responsibility is thrown mostly to the parent. And honestly, it is really the parent’s responsibility especially during the early ages of your son and daughter. You should always remind your child about his or her status and that it should not affect him or her as a person.
As a parent, you must really be hands-on with how you take care of your children. It is a must that your presence is always felt. That you are always there to guide your kid. It is important and a must that you efficiently perform your duties and responsibilities as a parent.
Single parents must be really close to his or her child. If you concentrate more on work and leave no time for your kids, there might be a gap on your relationship and you and your kid will not be that close.
You should also show your love to your kids for they lack affection. Since you are a single parent, you should give much more love as you are filling in the shoes of both a mom and a dad.
But that is not as easy as it sounds, because you are the only one that makes it work for you and your family. Of course, you cannot do it all by yourself. Single parents are not super heroes but they are close to it.
Time is the biggest enemy of a single parent. And because of that, the biggest consequence of it is having no time to spend with your kids. As a result, you may not be close to him. Another one is because of the lack of a parent figure inside the house when you are not around, the kids might lack the value that parents teach.
Also, because of your absence, the children might not respect your authority as their parent. And at times, because of work, you might be not around during special occasions, like the kid’s birthday, PTA meetings, the child’s recital and other kid of events that require the presence of a parent. Since you are the only working with no support, you might not be able to attend to these and may cause trouble.
A kid requires a lot of work, and if you cannot attend to your child’s needs then he or she might look out for someone else. Your child might be prone to drugs and other bad deeds because of the lack of presence and attention inside the house. The child might even forget that he or she still has a parent.
You must remember it is not how long you spend your time with your kids; it is how you spend quality time with your kids. Even if you are tired from work, you must always let them feel your love. You may not always be physically present but what is important is that we instill in the values and discipline so that they would be able to face the world with the parent on the child’s mind.
The most important thing is that they would understand the situation and respect you for what you are and not who you are not.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Easing the Stress of Single Parenthood
Easing the Stress of Single Parenthood
Society's attitude about the success or failure of children from single parent households means little in your home. While it is true that one-parent households require more planning, there is no reason to add guilt to your list of things to do.
According to Pearl Simmons, Community Education Specialist, Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh, "Single parenthood can be challenging, but if you maintain a loving relationship with your children you will continue to grow as a family. Through your positive interactions, you will teach your children the value of nurturing and supportive relationships."
Single parent Robbin Romiguiere remembers being at a loss when her boys cried the familiar words, "There's nothing to do." "I was never a boy so I just couldn't know how they felt....or so they thought. One day after hearing "I'm bored" for the 19th time, I looked out the window of our tiny two-bedroom apartment and spied a glorious oak tree. There was a pile of wood sitting just outside the boundaries of the apartment building. I knocked on the neighbor's door, a construction type, and asked him if I could borrow a hammer or two, maybe a saw and a box of nails -- if he could spare them. We plotted and planned. We sawed and hammered. We did this while balancing on branches. I lived through three days without hearing a single "I'm bored." When we were through, a treehouse was our ticket to adventure."
Veteran single parents are valuable resources for recent singles. Diane Berry voices the sentiment that even some married partners can use the strategies of single parents if their spouse is away a good bit or is not interested in being part of a child's life.
Listed below is information to aid the single parent with basic issues arising in their day to day lives:
* Organize an informal co-op. Berry acknowledges this takes initiative and time, but will help immensely when trying to iron out the scheduling conflicts between work life and your child's activities. Good places to begin your search for interested single parents are your child's school, daycare, sports teams or a local chapter of Parents Without Partners.
* Make room for fun. Single parents typically struggle to make ends meet. Money for entertainment and educational activities is scarce. Berry suggests earmarking $10 a month for fun activities. Research local parks and recreation departments for free activities, and don't forget your local library.
* Plan for sick days. A virus or extended illness for the single parent who has a child under six can be disastrous. Plan ahead for these times, and have several back up sitters in your address book. If you are faced with an extended illness and are running short on funds, place necessities like bottled water, canned food, medicine, and games close to your bed or easy chair.
* Remember your extended family. Family members can be a godsend for the single parent. They can also be a negative force. Should you experience the negativity, limited exposure for the single parent and the child is often necessary. If family members want to be a positive part of your new family unit, they may offer help with childcare, food preparation, and grant moral support.
* Don't forget to rest. Physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion is expected in any parenting situation. This is doubly true for the single parent. It is important to set aside a few minutes of quiet time during your day. This can be 30 minutes before the kids get up or 30 minutes after they've gone to sleep. It may mean taking a leisurely walk on your lunch break.
* Some moves may cause concern. Less money coming into a home might mean a parent has to move to a section of town offering undesirable influences on the child. Get on the list for Big Brothers/Big Sisters in your community. Keep enriching activities available at home. Have your child's friends come to your home so that you can supervise them.
* Don't take lashing out personally. It is normal for a child to have deep feelings regarding a parent who is rarely around. Remember children lash out at the one they feel safest with. If your child is old enough, late elementary and above, talk to him about how much you love him and that you are grateful to have him as your child.
* Kids need to help with chores. Avoid the temptation to put too much responsibility on the kids. However, children learn the valuable lesson of self-dependence when they are given chores within their abilities. Most libraries carry current parenting books and magazines that offer sound advice on age appropriate chores.
* Make a schedule. The necessities of job, good performance in school, and house maintenance are followed by the fun activities of watching movies, staring up at the sky in search of the perfect cloud, and dancing to your favorite tunes. Remember scheduled chores can be a time of togetherness and laughter. Washing a car is one of those chores that gets the job done and allows for frolicking.
* Keep your dates to yourself. It is not necessary to introduce each person you date to your children. This may cause confusion. Wait until the relationship becomes somewhat serious before introductions are made. Keep in mind that your child harbors a deep desire to see his parents reconcile.
Homes built with love, laughter, and discipline run more smoothly no matter whom is at the helm. Single parents tend to need outside help. This reaching out can be a benefit to all involved. In a country where we believe in doing everything ourselves, we sometimes miss out on the wisdom grandparents, neighbors, and family members can bring to our lives.
Remember, you don't have to do it all.
********
Aileen/
Single Parenthood is stressing, but there are ways to deal with it.
Click here if you want to know more about Single Parenting Guide
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Society's attitude about the success or failure of children from single parent households means little in your home. While it is true that one-parent households require more planning, there is no reason to add guilt to your list of things to do.
According to Pearl Simmons, Community Education Specialist, Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh, "Single parenthood can be challenging, but if you maintain a loving relationship with your children you will continue to grow as a family. Through your positive interactions, you will teach your children the value of nurturing and supportive relationships."
Single parent Robbin Romiguiere remembers being at a loss when her boys cried the familiar words, "There's nothing to do." "I was never a boy so I just couldn't know how they felt....or so they thought. One day after hearing "I'm bored" for the 19th time, I looked out the window of our tiny two-bedroom apartment and spied a glorious oak tree. There was a pile of wood sitting just outside the boundaries of the apartment building. I knocked on the neighbor's door, a construction type, and asked him if I could borrow a hammer or two, maybe a saw and a box of nails -- if he could spare them. We plotted and planned. We sawed and hammered. We did this while balancing on branches. I lived through three days without hearing a single "I'm bored." When we were through, a treehouse was our ticket to adventure."
Veteran single parents are valuable resources for recent singles. Diane Berry voices the sentiment that even some married partners can use the strategies of single parents if their spouse is away a good bit or is not interested in being part of a child's life.
Listed below is information to aid the single parent with basic issues arising in their day to day lives:
* Organize an informal co-op. Berry acknowledges this takes initiative and time, but will help immensely when trying to iron out the scheduling conflicts between work life and your child's activities. Good places to begin your search for interested single parents are your child's school, daycare, sports teams or a local chapter of Parents Without Partners.
* Make room for fun. Single parents typically struggle to make ends meet. Money for entertainment and educational activities is scarce. Berry suggests earmarking $10 a month for fun activities. Research local parks and recreation departments for free activities, and don't forget your local library.
* Plan for sick days. A virus or extended illness for the single parent who has a child under six can be disastrous. Plan ahead for these times, and have several back up sitters in your address book. If you are faced with an extended illness and are running short on funds, place necessities like bottled water, canned food, medicine, and games close to your bed or easy chair.
* Remember your extended family. Family members can be a godsend for the single parent. They can also be a negative force. Should you experience the negativity, limited exposure for the single parent and the child is often necessary. If family members want to be a positive part of your new family unit, they may offer help with childcare, food preparation, and grant moral support.
* Don't forget to rest. Physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion is expected in any parenting situation. This is doubly true for the single parent. It is important to set aside a few minutes of quiet time during your day. This can be 30 minutes before the kids get up or 30 minutes after they've gone to sleep. It may mean taking a leisurely walk on your lunch break.
* Some moves may cause concern. Less money coming into a home might mean a parent has to move to a section of town offering undesirable influences on the child. Get on the list for Big Brothers/Big Sisters in your community. Keep enriching activities available at home. Have your child's friends come to your home so that you can supervise them.
* Don't take lashing out personally. It is normal for a child to have deep feelings regarding a parent who is rarely around. Remember children lash out at the one they feel safest with. If your child is old enough, late elementary and above, talk to him about how much you love him and that you are grateful to have him as your child.
* Kids need to help with chores. Avoid the temptation to put too much responsibility on the kids. However, children learn the valuable lesson of self-dependence when they are given chores within their abilities. Most libraries carry current parenting books and magazines that offer sound advice on age appropriate chores.
* Make a schedule. The necessities of job, good performance in school, and house maintenance are followed by the fun activities of watching movies, staring up at the sky in search of the perfect cloud, and dancing to your favorite tunes. Remember scheduled chores can be a time of togetherness and laughter. Washing a car is one of those chores that gets the job done and allows for frolicking.
* Keep your dates to yourself. It is not necessary to introduce each person you date to your children. This may cause confusion. Wait until the relationship becomes somewhat serious before introductions are made. Keep in mind that your child harbors a deep desire to see his parents reconcile.
Homes built with love, laughter, and discipline run more smoothly no matter whom is at the helm. Single parents tend to need outside help. This reaching out can be a benefit to all involved. In a country where we believe in doing everything ourselves, we sometimes miss out on the wisdom grandparents, neighbors, and family members can bring to our lives.
Remember, you don't have to do it all.
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Aileen/
Single Parenthood is stressing, but there are ways to deal with it.
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